The View from Uncertainty

I could start with a question. That usually sets the mood of speculation, and contemplation. But it really doesn't grab the reader’s attention unless they happen to already find themselves in that state of mind. It’s a hit or miss strategy, so I think I’ll skip it all together.

I have recently been thinking on the simplest of social interactions. They tend to hold the most weight in day to day life. These little impressionable moments can take up most of your time that could be better spent daydreaming. I find myself playing out those situations in my head with different outcomes each time. In retrospect it seems so trivial; I can’t change what’s happened. And who’s to say that that moment holds any sort of significance to anyone but me anyway? I can only speculate what the other person actually thought, and even that is based off of my own preconceived notion of them. I've already made up my mind and now I’m just arguing with myself. As if reflection can actually change the past. All of what has happened can effect is what will happen next. But that is up to me.

I think most of my longing comes from a feeling loneliness. Now, I must clarify, I am by no means necessary alone. I am surrounded by a proud, loving wife, a supportive family, and friends that remind me of where I come from. In that area I am a rich man. But in my thoughts I am alone. I turn to the internet like some sort of exile broadcasting a transmission in hopes that someone will take notice. I ponder the need to be heard and from there I find myself concluding that selflessness is a double edged sword. I wouldn't force anyone to take heed but in that humility the soul is left lacking. Desire can lead to doubt and therein lies the precarious edge of abysmal fear.

So take the chance, chase down your dreams and make them submit to your will. BE the person you've always wanted to be. Don’t let those moments of opinionated impressionable doubt lead to your procrastination. Resentment is all that will come of it.